Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Home Office

I am trying to work in my home office, while other work is going on in the house. There are a couple of guys updating the security system, which produces a regular & piercing beeping sound, like, well, like an alarm going off. The dogs, sensibly, are alarmed, and bark loudly in response. To be fair, this is their job, so my annoyance feels mean-spirited. It is cold and rainy; they can't be outside where there is no (or at least muffled) beeping. Sadly, neither can I. I have a  significant amount of work to get through today, so I am trying to ignore the noise and stay focused. I am also doing A LOT of deep breathing.

My nonchalant attitude towards the ongoing home invasion and resultant Very Loud Noise is deeply troubling to the dogs. They have come to the conclusion that I am deaf to the beeping and must be informed of it by other means. When it beeps, they bark. At me. Barnabas, a 65 lb Shepherd mix, has a weirdly high-pitched, jackhammer yap: wha! wha! wha-wha-wha-wha! wha! Shiduri, the 100 lb Great Dane, does not bark, but rather bays, deeply and loudly, like a submarine siren: Ah-AH-AH-AHWHOO! AHWOOOOOOOOOO! She is exactly ear level with me. 

When the beeping mercifully stops, the canine tweeter & woofer team strut around importantly, clearly feeling that they have frightened away the interlopers. After a couple of grumbled threats in the direction of the front door, they finally relax, and lay down on their doggie beds…we all sigh… just in time for the next terrible BEEP! which sends them scrambling and barking, and then the whole cycle repeats itself. This started at 8am. It’s now 4.

I think the noise hurts the dogs ears so I put cotton balls in them. They don't like it. At first, Shiduri shakes her head violently while she’s barking, which adds a Doppler effect, which only intensifies the siren-like quality of her bays. I feel the vibration in my sternum.  By now she is overcome by the futility of it all and has decided that this awful situation is Barnabas's fault. She commences barking at HIM. He tries to cram himself under my feet. One of the work guys comes in to ask a question.The phone starts ringing.

Why the hell do we have an alarm system? Anyone in their right mind would flee from the dogs.

2 comments:

  1. Still laughing. I don't mean this to be at your, or their, expense.

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  2. I love the bit where they strut around importantly.

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